The Unexplainable, Unexplained.

In terms of the things that I don't understand, there's a lot of them. A few of these things can be explained by teachers and preachers and parents and friends and philosophical children who are too young to even know when they're being philosophical. But then there are some things that are so completely devoid of reason and logic that they can only be described as random happenings. America is home to the types of cultural enigmas that will really pick at your brain and contort your face into a "what the fuck" kind of expression. I know that I pick on America a lot, but it's only because America is completely insane. Over and over again I hear how lucky I should feel to live in America because of its democracy and freedom and the Ice Capades and Megan Fox and Oprah. But just because I am not forced to wear a hijab or live under a dictatorship or get my face butchered like a piece of prime rib because I ran away from an abusive afghan husband doesn't mean I am lucky. It should not be considered "luck" if you find yourself free and happy and limitless.

 

Back to America and its unexplainable behaviors,

1) people involved in child pageantry.

In my defense, pageants offend me probably as much as I offend pageants and their contenders. As an average looking child, and now as an average looking almost-adult, I can't say that I've ever placed much importance on outer beauty. But now that I think about it, I'm pretty judgmental and cynical, so I guess I don't place much importance on inner beauty either. I've found that once you discover something you really love to do, appearance sinks pretty low down on the totem pole of importance. That is, unless what you love to do is pageants. What really got me thinking about pageants was this show called "Toddlers and Tiaras." Basically, it's a show where really fat and beastly looking mothers quit their day jobs to raise their children to be the one thing they couldn't be, attractive. Some of the kids are too young to hold their bobbling heads up, let alone to argue their way out of a baby spray tan and hair teasing session. Tears streamed down one three-year-old girls face after her mother scolded her for not shaking her ass enough while up on stage. There's a difference between encouraging your toddler to play with the dolls instead of the dirt and then encouraging your toddler to wear the fake eyelashes instead of using mascara. I'd say that the difference is pretty crucial and influences whether or not the child grows up to hate their parents or to love them.

2) Racist people in America.

I'm still trying to get this straight. So being racist is thinking that you are better than someone else because of how you look or where you came from. Yet, the people who are racist tend to be rather fat with a few remaining brown teeth and have McDonald's grease stains decorating their monster truck T-shirts. More often than not, they live in a trailer or a run down house in the southern part of North America and argue that the confederate flag is not a clear indication of racism/backwards living. These racists have also probably had small, yet significant, sexual interactions with a cousin/sister/great aunt. Now, I'm not saying that all racists look like this. There are many put together PTA attending, teeth brushing suburbanites just as racist. However, I think it is completely fair to say that a majority of racists in America fit the first description. The irony of America's filthiest failures thinking that that they are better than someone because of their race is beyond me. After all the hunting, fishing, Muddin', four wheeling, car washing and sister screwing, these southerners are so covered in colors, you might not even know they're white.